Father’s Day is a time to celebrate fathers and father figures. Today’s dads may be more involved in their children’s lives than ever before, sharing the day-to-day responsibilities of raising children.
But while expectations of fathers have evolved, the support available to them has not always kept pace.
My colleagues and I undertook research in partnership with Children in Wales, an umbrella body for organisations and people who work with children and families. Speaking with 97 fathers in Wales, we heard honest accounts of the joys and challenges of modern fatherhood. Their experiences revealed a common theme: many dads feel overlooked, unsupported and insufficiently recognised in their role as parents.
That’s something to consider because fatherhood can be one of the most rewarding experiences in a person’s life. As one father told us: “Being a parent is hard and life is never easy. There are always new hurdles and challenges. But it is so rewarding and I love being a dad.”
Becoming a father can also be one of the most significant transitions a man experiences. Biological changes, including a drop in testosterone levels, combined with shifts in relationships, responsibilities and finances, can leave many fathers vulnerable at a time when they are expected to be strong and dependable.
Despite this, many dads still feel unable to speak openly about their struggles. Some fear stigma. Others do not know where to seek support. In many areas, support specifically designed for fathers simply does not exist.
The consequences can be severe. Fathers can experience postnatal depression and many report suicidal thoughts. Men are around seven times more likely to die by suicide than women after becoming parents. This means that an estimated two to three babies every week in the UK lose their father to suicide within the first 1,001 days of life. The effects on children, families and communities is profound.
But our research suggests this picture is not inevitable. When we asked fathers what would make the greatest difference to their lives and wellbeing, three clear themes emerged.
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The first was a desire for society to rethink the role of fathers. Many dads told us they still encounter outdated assumptions that their primary purpose is to provide financially while mothers take the lead in caring for children. They want to be recognised not only as breadwinners but also as caregivers, nurturers and active participants in family life.
Fathers described the need for parenting to be seen as a shared responsibility and for dads’ involvement in everyday activities – from school runs to bedtime routines – to be seen as normal rather than exceptional. They also called for greater visibility of dads in public messaging, advertising and media campaigns, where parenting content is still frequently directed mainly towards mothers.
The second message was that fathers’ contributions to children’s lives need to be more consistently recognised by the systems and services that support families. Many dads spoke about feeling peripheral during interactions with healthcare, education and other public services. They wanted professionals to recognise that in two-parent families there are two parents whose voices matter.
For many dads, inclusion starts from the earliest days of a child’s life. Fathers should be routinely involved in conversations about their children, consulted when decisions are being made and recognised as important figures in their children’s development and wellbeing. Small changes in professional practice could make a big difference to how valued and engaged fathers feel.
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The third theme centred on support. Fathers told us they need access to services and resources that help them become the best parents they can be. That support should begin early, ideally before or during the transition into fatherhood, when many men are navigating unfamiliar challenges and responsibilities.
Many mentioned the importance of improving paternity leave, giving fathers more time to bond with their children, support their partners and adjust to family life. Others called for services designed with fathers in mind, including dad-specific support groups, activities for fathers and children and practical guidance on parenting.
Some also pointed to the value of wider family support, including relationship counselling, mediation and legal advice when families encounter difficulties. Of course, none of these changes will happen overnight. Changing attitudes, reforming services and expanding support require commitment from policymakers, professionals and communities alike.
Optimism
But there are also reasons to be optimistic. Across Wales and beyond, researchers, practitioners, charities and fathers themselves are already working towards the shared goal of improving dads’ wellbeing so that families can flourish.
Our Dads’ Wellbeing Research Network brings together policymakers, service providers, community organisations, dads and people committed to driving that change. Father’s Day is an opportunity to celebrate dads. It should also be an opportunity to listen to them.
The fathers who took part in our research weren’t asking for special treatment. They were asking to be recognised, included and supported in one of the most important roles they will ever have.
If society can achieve that, it will not only mean improving the lives of fathers. It may also help build stronger families and give more children the best possible start in life. And that is something worth considering this Father’s Day.
