Incels, or involuntary celibates, are members of an online subculture, most often heterosexual men, who believe they have been unconditionally excluded from the dating scene. This has negative implications for their mood and self-esteem, as well as the women and girls they grow to resent.
For this reason, schools in England are now required to address incel communities, among other sources of online misogyny, in relationships, sex and health education. This is a challenging task when many teachers are already overstretched, and schools are increasingly expected to deal with problems that begin beyond the school gates.
Addressing gender based discrimination and violence requires experts who are well prepared and able to support discussion around these sensitive topics in a manner that does not further stigmatise young people.
Many young people worry about falling behind their peers socially and sexually. Sociological research shows this pressure is observable from high school onward, with pupils mocking each other if they do not appear sufficiently experienced or interested. Survey data finds inexperienced adults are seen as less desirable, even by those who share their inexperience.
Virginity and masculinity
Research in the US found that women were more likely to see their virginity as something to be shared with the right person, while men are more likely to see it as a source of shame to be opportunistically cast off. These sentiments reflect the traditional view of virginity in men as a sign of inadequacy.
Incels take this perception to the extreme, positioning themselves at the bottom of a natural male hierarchy because of women’s supposedly hardwired preferences for alpha males.
This is in contrast to other parts of the manosphere, populated by masculinity influencers. They start from a similar premise – that dating is unfair – but teach followers how to “game” the system. This may be through pseudoscience, body modification, coercion, dehumanisation and dominance.
Incels see their struggle to fit in with adulthood as something inflicted upon them by a combination of biology and social engineering. They envision the same sexual marketplace as the likes of Andrew Tate, but feel unable to compete in it. This perceived helplessness acts as a justification for their grievances. In this way, they outsource their sexual development, positioning women as gatekeepers to respectability and misogyny as transgressive rebellion.
Crucially, incels’ sense of exclusion goes beyond sexuality. An illustration of this was found in research which suggested that regional inequality is a predictor of incel activity on social media. In other words, economically unequal environments are associated with more incel sentiments. If young men can see “the good life”, but feel blocked from achieving it and their position at the bottom of a hierarchy is inescapable, it can make them feel trying is pointless.
It may seem counterintuitive that incels gravitate towards a philosophy that tells them their life cannot get any better. But this fatalistic worldview, that offers secret knowledge to explain romantic alienation as a scientific inevitability, offers temporary comfort. It absolves responsibility.
Incels often see themselves as rivals in a misery economy, where the goal is to be the most “trucel”: the person with the odds stacked most against them, who therefore has the best reason to be a virgin. But over time, the permanency of their position can become overwhelming as the sadness turns to rage. Most incels confine their anger to messageboards. But in extreme cases incel beliefs have inspired real-world violence including harassment, stalking and even acts of murder.
Research on the influence of “manfluencers” and incel culture in schools suggests that these online cultures do not remain confined to the internet. They spill into classrooms, shaping boys’ attitudes towards girls and women teachers. They normalise sexist behaviour, placing yet more responsibility on teachers to deal with the consequences. One outcome is that the Department for Education has seen a rising number of Prevent referrals related to inceldom.
MAYA LAB/Shutterstock
Social media and video sharing platforms play a large role in both spreading and profiting from this material, so are being increasingly targeted by regulators such as Ofcom. This may well become a catalyst for stricter digital governance.
But at a local level, a meaningful response to these issues must include expanded access to mental health support. Young people also need healthier outlets, both on and offline, for openness and connection.
In schools, education on rejection, empathy, relationship dynamics, self-worth and social skills can play a vital role here. It requires a whole-school approach in which teachers are themselves supported and equipped to respond. A whole-school approach should also mean that individual staff are not left to carry the burden.
This begins with the identification of whole school guiding principles for education interventions. Some schools are supporting all staff to recognise and respond to incel terminology, to recognise the eco-system and appeal of influencers. Specific workshops and lesson plans are also being developed and tested.
Schools and teachers should not be left to tackle this issue alone. Parents are the first port of call for safeguarding young people and they require education and support in recognising and challenging harmful online influences at home.
